(Save for future reference)
1. Peeps who believe we all switched to an alternate Earth during 2012 because they don’t like the music now.
2. The inner Gilbert Gottfried who lived in my head & laughed at all my jokes has been replaced with Aidy Bryant.
3. “How bout that Osama bin Laden? Huh? What’s up with that?”
4. “I was reading old Ziggy cartoons on Pinterest when…”
5. [Career-ending joke; hope it was worth it, Lenny Bruce]
6. “GUYS, amirite?”
7. Peeps who all believe we switched to an alternate Earth during 2012 just because of the giant glowing baby with the eyes of brass that we all worship now as per the ritual of our ancestors blessed be its name.
8. “These cramps are KILLING me! When am I getting the damn hysterectomy?”
9. “Pete Davidson and Charo walk into a bar…”
10. My Andrew Dice Clay impression