I have made an assessment that writing in this blog helps me manage my stress level + delivers hits of occasional dopamine throughout the day in the form of hits, likes, and subscribes. In other words, it’s sort of like the same shit all over again.

I will try real hard not to capitalize on this effort in any positive way, but to merely push push push content live, month after month, only to later nuke the entire thing in a moment of clarity & honest desire to fit in to Society. At least I know who I am.

(My experience with Substack was fine, but I never really understood it. I enjoyed the way simply the platform itself triggered some people, but you’re only going to get your rocks off of that for so long.)

(My experience with Twitter: Elon could not destroy that platform fast enough for my taste. Haha I’m joking. I actually cherish our collective pastimes.)

I gathered up enough attention-span to watch the first half of the new Chip n Dale movie (which was huge for me; these days I prefer to consume my movies in discrete gifs). It is, so far, better than that recent Tom and Jerry movie. John Mulaney’s voice is pretty fucking distracting; not in a bad way, per se, it’s just that I forget he is playing Chip and I just assume he’s Mulaney doing Mulaney.

In other news, our greatest scientific researchers agree: the Universe is not working the way it’s supposed to work.

You would think this would be the main headline every fucking day, correct? “Hey guess what. The Universe seems really fucked up. I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe don’t have kids.”

Fuck, I just heard that in my mind in Mulaney’s voice.

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I’m so sorry I don’t have a link to give you regarding that article about the Universe being all fucked up and stuff. WordPress has made auto-charges to my debit card seamless, but the app has rendered the insertion of a link a mystery. You know, a mystery: like the fucking Universe.

Here’s what I recommend for you. Go read legit science & technology websites regularly for the next few weeks. Not the “soft” websites, not the Gawker-type websites, but real fucking science websites like Scientific American and shit. After doing the preceding, you will become more paranoid than a shit-house rat. You will become more concerned & paranoid & weirded out by the legit science than you would from any number of Reddit conspiracy boards. Because at least the Reddit conspiracy boards are funny.

The real shit, the “legit” shit…sometimes, that’s the weirdest shit! That’s the secret. Don’t read conspiracy books. Go read books by legit historians. Go read legit biographies. Go to a good local college research library…not a well-funded college, but I mean a real rinky-dink community set-up, where they still have the gigantic research volumes from 1983. And go read that stuff.

You see, most peeps don’t read. I sure don’t like to read the way I used to in my youth. It’s very hard for me to get through an entire book in sequence. I seek book gifs.

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John Mulaney had this famous quip, “Cancelling plans is like heroin.” Being cancelled, on the other hand, is like drinking one of those 40-ounce “margarita” cans from the local bodega at 3 in the afternoon on a stomach filled with nothing but mini-donuts.

I think it was Andy Warhol who said, “In the future, everybody will be cancelled for 15 minutes.” Sometimes longer.

Have a great day.