Go Ask VALIS, Pt. 6: The Shape of Things

Before I go on with the story about what happened to me in college, I do want to address something that I’ve always wanted to address.

I see the shape of things.

I don’t claim to have some Nostradamus/Nosferatu deck of predictive quatrains up my sleeve. But I certainly can pick up energy, and see patterns. And I can do this accurately a lot; especially if I remove my ego from the equation (which is often very very hard to do).

The expression I often use is: I can see the train going down the track from far, far off. I really can. And that could just be a matter of pattern-recognition. I dunno.

But it all has provided me with this creepy-sort of aura around myself. I can be creepy to be around. When I’m “right,” it’s not like some joyous achievement where I’m like “wow! Finally, I’m believed!” Because it’s fucking creepy. And it often doesn’t truly help with the outcome, anyhow. In a way…it’s like trivia. It’s like Trivial Pursuit.

I’ve predicted some creepy shit. I’ve successfully predicted some shit pretty accurately, with a neat little dream journal entry going into detail. More often than that, I seemingly predict & anticipate some shit through my fiction writing.

Again, I need to emphasize, there can be many rational explanations for this:

1) Pattern Recognition

2) Confirmation Bias

3) Etc.

But yeah, I do need to get this off my chest. And I’m certainly not the only person who can do this. If you ask your friends and family for any anecdotes about how once they had an intuition about something & then it came true…you’re gonna get examples, you really are. And you’re probably gonna get a few examples that will knock your socks off.

I can see the shape of lives. I can see the shape of businesses. I can see the shape of countries. I had a dream in the early Nineties laying out the very basic plots of the Star Wars prequels way before they were ever announced. I had a dream the night before my first job in the comic industry, at Acclaim, had major layoffs. I dreamt of my own layoff before it happened. I walked into the office that morning after dreaming that the offices closed; and when I got there, it was announced that the offices were closing & that we were fired.

I’m the type of person…you know, a full year or so before Princess Diana died, I was watching news footage of her selling off her most famous gowns at a charity auction. And I’m with other people watching this, and before I can even realize I’m speaking (or shut my mouth) I’m saying out loud, automatically: “she’s selling those dresses because she knows she’s going to die.” Yes, that level of creepy. It’s inappropriate, I know.

And what has all this gotten me, beside the aforementioned “trivial pursuit?” Have I bought any lucrative stocks? Has it prevented me from heartbreak? Has it helped me avoid anything significantly negative?

There’s a reason why people in the olden days were prevented from accessing esoteric material until they reached a certain level of initiation. That wasn’t just a “conspiracy” thing. It’s because you have to reach a level of spiritual maturity.

Have I reached the requisite level of spiritual maturity? I described myself in Part 2 of this as the George Costanza of Magick…so probably, no.

At any rate. We’re in for quite a decade.

Thanks for listening.