So. HOW ARE YOU DOING??????
Several things, I’m just going to list them out:

NOT BETTER THAN EZRA

Well, “Movie Flash” Ezra Miller apparently choked a female fan in Iceland and dropped her to the floor; and thanks to the miracle of mobile phone video we all get to watch THAT bit of horror FIRST THING IN THE MORNING! What a way to start my day!

True-blue nerds everywhere, after feeling sympathy for the victim (RIGHT?), collectively wondered if the Ezra incident would mean the end of a rumored sequel to the “Flash of Two Worlds” bit on the Flash TV show.

Also: here are supposed “first-hand accounts” of the assault.

Also: Ezra Miller as staunch “feminist”:

STARRING JARED LETO AS JOHN THE BAPTIST

And now for a palette cleanser with an actor who is NOT problematic (Narrator: But Jared Leto was also problematic.)

OTHER THINGS

• • Here’s Lou Reed reviewing Police Academy (Narrator: But Lou Reed was also problematic.)
  • Monkeys and apes are apparently so stressed out about the coronavirus that they have turned to chainsmoking.
  • No, Tommy Lee didn’t actually write that “Dear F*ucking Lunatic” letter to Trump.
  • The best article debunking the toilet paper hoarding myth you will ever read:
    

    People actually do need to buy significantly more toilet paper during the pandemic — not because they’re making more trips to the bathroom, but because they’re making more of them at home. With some 75% of the U.S. population under stay-at-home orders, Americans are no longer using the restrooms at their workplace, in schools, at restaurants, at hotels, or in airports.

  And what else, what else…oh yeah right, MASS GRAVES BEING DUG IN NYC PARKS TO ACCOMMODATE OVERFLOWING MORGUES!!!

  

  People sometimes ask: what is it about New Yorkers that makes them able to weather such horrific events as 9/11 & the coronavirus outbreak?

  Well, I would offer that purposeful dissociation REALLY HELPS.

  

  But nah seriously, I’m doing fine.

  (No seriously, I am. I’m a natural extreme introvert so the expected extension of the “New York Pause” to the end of the month doesn’t have the same impact. But this whole situation is pretty fucked.)

  

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  In-joke for only the hardcore cult movie fans:

  

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  I’ll leave you with this clip from the classic film My Dinner With Andre:

  And this video from the classic band The Pixies:

  Have a good day.