Life On Mars #4: Game of Thrones Finale, Batman Movie Villains, Joker Conspiracy Theory

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current mood

I thought today I’d just shoot the shit. Maybe some of these thoughts will make it it larger posts, maybe not.

First, my thoughts on the Game of Thrones series finale. Basically, I feel I shouldn’t have any thoughts on the Game of Thrones finale, because I only started watching this season & have not invested heart, soul, and streaming minutes into the entire series.

That said, let me give you my opinion on the Game of Thrones finale

SPOILERS AHOY!!!!

MY HIGHLY-EDUCATED OPINION ON THE GAME OF THRONES FINALE

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Literally, my reaction to the Game of Thrones finale was: oh, Dark Phoenix and that weird off-putting psychic boy “won.” Cool.

That’s right, folks: I don’t even remember her fucking name. I just call her “Dark Phoenix.”

That said, on behalf of all weird off-putting psychics everywhere, let me be the first to personally thank the GoT producers for making the RIGHT choice and putting Bran in charge. I’m sure that will turn out well. I’m thinking of aiming for Facebook CEO, myself, or at least the despot of a small Eastern European country.

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See, I’m ALSO one of those annoying assholes who LOVED the Lost finale. So my opinion is indeed irrelevant when it comes to long-running television dramas. Sorry I couldn’t be of more valuable insight here.

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Let’s move on to one of my favorite topics: Batman.

BATMAN RETURNS RETURNS

Penguin and Catwoman?  Really?

Why can’t these Batman movies trust ANY one villain outside of the Joker to carry the story by themselves? (I’m not counting Batman v Superman here because you’ve got Superman, natch). I have nothing against the new Batman movie featuring Penguin & Catwoman, it’s just that it’s very Batman Returns, no? Maybe this time things will be more toyetic.

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There was even a rumor that Melissa McCarthy was being considered for the Penguin role, which turned out NOT to be a rumor but just a comment made by a journalist for Collider. I would have nothing against McCarthy playing the Penguin, as I think she’d do a great job; it’s just that it WON’T HAPPEN IN A MILLION, BILLION YEARS.

I repeat: A MILLION, BILLION YEARS.

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But I also think that Josh Gad actively campaigning for the Penguin role on social media just seems a TAD too Sean Young for my taste as well. I think that if this guy doesn’t get the role, he may very well lose his goddamn mind. He’s gotta use that Joaquin Phoenix strategy instead, see? You gotta act like you are too above it all to actually care. Then they break down the doors for you, see?

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OH MAN THIS FUCKING JOKER MOVIE

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Joaquin Phoenix calls his agent

Speaking of which, I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again: if this Joker movie ends up sucking, I’m gonna be really really MAD. I mean, how can you fuck something like that up? With that pedigree?

But let’s face it: DC literally just had Harley Quinn in a support group saying flat-out that Joker is the Johnny Depp of asshole physically abusive boyfriends:

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Now I know what you’re going to say, well-read comic book aficionado: it’s been referenced before that Joker was abusive to Harley. But this a VERY straightforward admittance in a high-profile mini-series (Heroes In Crisis). And so that’s finebut once you do that, it’s VERY HARD to then promote this character as an “anti-hero”…or even to promote the character in your branding AT ALL. 

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Which then all goes back to this alleged Joker movies script leak. I’m just going to say what one of the supposed main plot points is, just for the sake of this discussion (I too, do not expect a Warner Bros. Batman Swag Bag this year).

SPOILERS AHOY!

So it’s alleged that in this Joker script that’s floating around, Joker starts out romancing the Zazie Beetz character, and then eventually when she turns him down, he kills her. And then after that…he’s still portrayed as some sort of anti-hero that we should give a fuck about.

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Arthur romances some chick at that diner a couple of blocks outside the Javits convention center, you know the one.

WARNERS: if this indeed happens in the Joker movie, it’s a HUGE mistake. And I—a big fan of Martin Scorsese, Taxi Driver, and Robert De Niro—am going to tell you why.

Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver was a massive loon, crazier than a shithouse rat. But he emerged an anti-hero at the end of the film rather than a villain. HOWEVER: had he killed the Cybill Shepherd character he had a crush on, he would have been IRREDEEMABLE. It would no longer have been Taxi Driver…it’d turn into William Lustig’s Maniac.

CONSPIRACY TIME, KIDDIES!!!

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Nothing to see here, just a grown-ass man sticking his fingers in the mouth of some little boy.

But here’s the thing…I have a little theory about the Joker movie, the Matt Reeves Batman movie, and the future of the property in general…

I think the Todd Phillips Joker movie is seen as an “outlier” from the new DCEU direction, almost a remnant from the Zack Snyder years…and so the factions within WB/DC who are firmly on the Matt Reeves train are the ones leaking the Joker script. Because they’re afraid this movie will hurt the branding of the overall DCEU franchise.

I also believe that there are elements in the current WB/DC management that feel Joker is “problematic” (per Aurora Shooting, et al.) and are minimizing the connection of the character to the overall franchise. Thus, that scene in Heroes in Crisis with Harley.

This is what I think, my personal little conspiracy theory. I could be wrong. I mean…it’s not like the heads of major comic publishers personally leak shit to sketchy online rumor mills.

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Have a good day, dear readers, and remember:

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One comment

  1. The great thing about DC characters is if they ever ruin your favorite character, there’s always a universe-wide reboot just around the corner. (This is also the worst thing about DC characters.)

    Besides, we all know that “Li’l Gotham” is the definitive Batman canon these days, all the other comics are just Elseworlds.

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