Trailer Carnival: Death Kiss, Ghost Stories, Sorry To Bother You, Perfect, Open Marriage, And More!

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from “Ghost Stories”

I first saw this teaser trailer for Death Kiss with the sound off in a favorite local Mexican restaurant, and…I felt like my brain was going to explode. I felt like showing my phone to the server and being like: “CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT???”

Death Kiss…is a movie…that is apparently based on the 1974 original film Death Wish…that features…an actor who literally looks exactly like Charles Bronson in that particular movie…not an homage…but literally, looks EXACTLY like Bronson.

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Oh, and Daniel Baldwin co-stars as the radio DJ.

How…how does a movie like this get made? What is its purpose? I just…wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Next we have the British horror anthology Ghost Stories, featuring Martin Freeman. I’d watch this, definitely. Seems very much like those old Amicus horror anthologies of the 1970s. It is has a UK release date of April 6.

The dark telemarketing comedy Sorry To Bother You, which was apparently a hit at Sundance earlier this year, also looks good…

Sorry To Bother You has a July 6 release.

The 4/20 Massacre, out April 3, will most likely be exactly what it looks like…(for fans of, I would imagine, the Evil Bong franchise)

The bleak futuristic psycho-sexual nihilistic hijinks of Perfect, executive-produced by Steven Soderbergh & premiering at SXSW, looks like it just might be the “feel-bad” movie of the year we’ve been looking for to tamp down our too-high spirits and bring ourselves back down to an Aronofsky level of dread:

But just in case you watched that Perfect trailer and thought true love was dead, this other one for the movie Open Marriage should rescue your crushed idealism.

Open Marriage, like if The RoomRed Shoe Diaries, and a Lifetime movie had a threesome and Fifty Shades Of Grey just sort of watched in a closet!

Open Marriage, a film featuring the thespian talents of former Take 5 member Tilky Jones!

Open Marriage, the movie that—oh shit, it actually was a Lifetime movie!

Never mind.