Trailer Carnival: Mary Poppins, Lost In Space, Outlaw Johnny Black, House Of Cards, And New Nic Cage & Rose McGowan Flicks


First up is a teaser trailer for the long-awaited official sequel to the 1964 movie Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins Returns

First impression on seeing this: “Hey, Hamilton is in this movie!”

Second impression: “They just let a legit witch into the house to watch their kids!”

If Mary Poppins Returns does well at the box-office, Mary Poppins Forever (hopefully directed by Joel Schumacher) will not be far behind.

Mary Poppins Returns drops December 25.

Next we have a brand-new spanking new new spanking Nic Cage flick, The Humanity Bureau. Cage plays a “relocation” agent in a bleak future dystopia (perhaps 2019 or so) who stumbles upon a massive conspiracy to liquidate humanity. This is not quite The Wicker Man-level Cage histrionics, but more like on the level of Knowing.

Donald Trump makes an appearance, but the trailer’s context is open enough so that the dystopia can either be completely blamed on him OR it can totally trigger off paranoid  Pro-Trumpers who believe the Deep State is planning a coup and are going to take away all their guns–>known as, marketing that covers all your bases.

The Humanity Bureau will be released April 8.

Michael Jai White’s The Outlaw Johnny Black is a follow-up to his 2009 blaxploitation parody Black Dynamite. This extended trailer is actually promoting his Indiegogo campaign to fund the movie itself. So…if you liked this trailer…go shell a few bucks out. Get the rewards package with the official mug. Treat yourself.

The upcoming Netflix sci-fi series Lost In Space is of course an adaptation of the groundbreaking 1998 movie starring Matt LeBlanc. Parker Posey co-stars as Dr. Smith, so there’s that.

The first season of Lost In Space drops on Netflix April 13.

If you are wondering what Rose McGowan’s post-#MeToo movie career is shaping up to look like, wonder no more: here we have the trailer for the horror film Paranormal: White Noise (which is like if the movies Paranormal Activity and White Noise had a baby, I’m guessing). McGowan plays a debunker of paranormal claims who stumbles across a haunted subway station conveniently built over a graveyard. Christopher Lloyd appears as That Creepy Old Guy Who At First We Thought Was A Ghost But No It’s Just A Creepy Old Guy.

Don’t really have a release date for this one but it should probably be coming to one of your streaming digital services soon enough.

And lastly, here’s a teaser for the next and last season of Netflix’s House Of Cards, now featuring 100% less Kevin Spacey: