Trailer Carnival: Fahrenheit 451, Status Update, The Week Of, Tell Me Your Name, And A Lifetime Flick

Steve Buscemi holding a giant Toblerone

Here we have the trailer to HBO’s upcoming adaptation of Fahrenheit 451 starring Michael B. Jordan and Michael Shannon, which is all like “HEY, THIS ISN’T A SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE BUT SOMETHING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!! IT’S CALLED THE INTERNET!!!” I paraphrase, of course.

It is clear to me that I am most likely not the intended audience for the “feel good” teen flick Status Update—about a magical app that makes all a boy’s dreams come true.

That said, all I can think about when I see Ross Lynch in this flick is the young Jeffrey Dahmer he played last year. It’s like…the bizarro universe version of My Friend Dahmer. That would be an amazing movie!

The best part of this trailer for Netflix’s The Week Of is Steve Buscemi holding up a giant Toblerone. That’s not putting down the rest of this Adam Sandler and Chris Rock movie; but rather, it’s high praise indeed.

The best part of this trailer for the devil-possession horror movie Tell Me Your Name is picturing somebody mistaking it for the romantic coming-of-age film Call Me By Your Name and getting instead Tell Me Your Name:

And it seems as if they’ve included ALL the best scenes for the the “psycho stepmother” movie The Other Mother in the trailer—including the twist, what happens after the twist, the part where the dad finally realizes his hot young new wife is evil, the part where the original mom finally defeats the evil stepmother, and so on and so on. Why is this literal Lifetime original movie from 2017 being repackaged and offered as a trailer in 2018? We gotta fill those streaming services with CONTENT, baby! Content content content content!!!!